The streets are empty. Wind skims the voids keeping neighbors apart, as if grazing the hollow of a cut reed, or say, a plundered mailbox. A familiar note is produced. It’s the one Desolation plays to keep its instrument in tune.
It is your thirteenth birthday, and as with all twelve preceding it, something feels missing from your life. The game presently eluding you is only the latest sleight of hand in the repertoire of an unseen riddler, one to engender a sense not of mirth, but of lack. His coarse schemes are those less of a prankster than a common pickpocket. His riddle is Absence itself. It is a mystery dispersing altogether, like the moon’s faint reflection, with even one pebble of inquiry dropped in its black well. It is the most diabolical riddle of all.
“Absence diminishes little passions and increases great ones, as wind extinguishes candles and fans a fire.” -Walt Whitman
Yes, you are certain Walt Whitman said that. One hundred percent positive.
You have a feeling it’s going to be a long day.
I have now finally been introduced to what I believe to be Homestuck’s official introduction page…
…along with text that makes barely any sense, though I’m hoping it has to do with some kind of plot that’s not just… well, a kid stuck at home. Yeah.
The door is locked and your DAD has the CAR KEYS. You peer in through the driver’s side window.
You don’t see any mail, but you do see a GREEN PACKAGE. There is also something underneath it that looks like a slip of paper.
Could these items have come in the mail? You don’t see anything else that’s usually in the mail, like bills and coupons. Maybe your DAD forgot to take this stuff inside.
Well boo, there goes the plot.
John’s Dad bakes, interesting.
Dad has arms, but no face. Is this going to be a normal thing?
HOLY SHIT. GUYS THIS MUSIC. THIS MUSSSSSSSSIC. Oh I can click. John why are you hitting your dad with a hammer… Okay I don’t think there’s anything else to do here.
What’s up with Dad and pastry…
John: Equip disguise for defense.
I give up trying to understand.
Sassacre you beautiful bastard.
Now’s your chance!!!
Ahaha I love the wording sometimes.
Why is John taking cakes? I thought he hated it?
Everything in your SYLLADEX is smushed between the CAKES. Why don’t you think these things through first??
If only this made any sense. GG.
Ooh now introduced to GG gardenGnostic! And to think the previously typed “GG” was meant to be “good game/going”. They sound happy.
Oh gawk. So GG and TT are female? I guess TG is male then.
BREAKING THE STORY’S OWN STORYMAKER’S STORY. The Midnight Crew.
You decide it’s time for less meta, and more beta.
You insert the CD and install the SBURB BETA.
ALRIGHT TIME FOR ACTUAL PLOT?
What the fuck is this.